thepissedkitty

Does anybody else hate that Free Credit Report.com guy…? The sort of cute-for-a-whiteboy one with curly hair?

I used to like him when they did the first commercial, about the sh*tty car he bought when he didn’t go to freecreditreport.com (although everything’s relative - I think that was a nice car), and the one about how he didn’t check the website, someone stole his identity, and now he’s serving fish to tourists “dressed up like a pirate in this restaurant” (total rip from Fast Times at Ridgemont High, by the way.)

But now I think he’s a total prick! In their new spot, he plays a darkly twisted tale of woe about how he married his “dreamgirl,” only forgot to check her credit first, and now “can’t get a loan on a respectable home” and  is forced to live in her parents’ basement instead of being “a happy bachelor with a dog and a yard”. How effed up is THAT people?

First of all, Suze Orman says you shouldn’t let bad credit stop you from marrying for love, because that’s in the past, not part of your married-couple credit report, or some crap. Anyway, dude thought he was marrying for money. And furthermore, if he can get a house on his own, then why didn’t he? What a jerk. Not to mention that he apparently leaves his soiled underwear all over the basement and totally lets that drummer dude live in their closet/bathroom. No wonder his “dreamgirl” looks a little miffed. I would be, too. She could have done better. In my opinion, Dreamgirl there should trade up, even for the Judge Reinhold character from Fast Times. Hell, even Spicoli has less issues.

Or perhaps I’m reading too much into this. It’s just, they all look so cute and nice and innocent until you meet the parents and find out their dad got them that job at Experian, plus they’re still attached at the hip to the apron strings, don’t actually even KNOW how to do laundry, couldn’t even wipe by themselves until they were 7 (how…cute?) and have plastic their parents still pay off for them. I should probably just stay away from the television, and relationships for that matter. The only thing that scares me worse than that combo would be looking at my free credit report. Dot com.

I think I do not like it heeeeeere, but am too lethargic to go back to my old blog. Think I’ll just stew until I figure out Dreamweaver.

Another commercial that keeps grossing me out, besides the bab
y-peeing-like-a-damned-firehose-all-over-the-ceiling nightmare, is the one with the check who drinks out of the guy’s mouth like a water cooler (Mentos? Some gum? I am too horrified to even remember what this is for.) Whoever the offender may be: THIS IS GROSS. She is drinking his SALIVA. Is this supposed to be erotic?! I think not. If so, it must be made by the same people who think toe-sucking is fun.